How Can You Find Out If Someone Is Gambling
Read some tips about how to talk to someone about their gambling here. If you would like more information on how you can help a problem gambler, you can call the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133 to: Find out how they can access support services; Find out how you can receive advice and support.
Gambling is often described as ‘the hidden addiction’. Unlike substance misuse or sex addiction, it can be much easier to hide the signs of problem gambling from other people. This is particularly true now online gambling is so widely accessible and popular.
But the effects of gambling addiction on a relationship can be devastating. It can destroy the sense of trust between partners often as a consequence of the secrecy or lies surrounding the addiction as much as the addiction itself. It can also ruin families financially.
- The first thing to do if you think your partner is a problem gambler is to seek help. GamCare has a helpline (0808 8020 133) that’s open seven days a week. They can provide you with advice on what your next steps could be. They can also help you think about whether your partner has a problem — you don’t need to be certain to give them a call.
- Take this short quiz developed by Gamblers Anonymous to find out if you may be living with a compulsive gambler: Do you find yourself haunted by bill collectors.
- How can you tell if someone has a gambling disorder? The American Psychiatric Association has developed guidelines and says that a person requires at least four of the following issues to take place during the past year: A person feels the need to gamble with an increasing amount of money in order to achieve the desired excitement.
- If you've decided to seek help for compulsive gambling, you've taken an important first step. What you can do. Before your appointment make a list of: All the feelings you're experiencing, even if they seem unrelated to your problem. Note what triggers your gambling, whether you've tried to resist the urge to gamble and the effect that gambling.
It’s estimated there are around 450,000 problems gamblers in the UK. And anecdotal evidence suggests that every problem gambler impacts 5 to 12 other people.
How Can You Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Losses
What are the signs your partner is a gambler?
Many people whose partners have gambling addictions often report initially thinking their partner was having an affair as the signs are so similar. They include:
- Spending lots of time away. Do they often spend a lot of time away from the house and are vague about why? Some problem gamblers also get up very early in order to play before their partner or family are awake.
- Secretive around finances. Does your partner become cagey or defensive on the topic of money? Have they taken steps to conceal bank statements?
- Money going out of account without explanation. Obviously, it’s not always possible to hide it if you are spending large amounts of cash. Have you noticed unexplained deductions from your accounts?
- Secretive around internet use. Most gambling addictions are carried out online. Does your partner habitually delete their internet history or are they vague and evasive if questioned on their use of the internet?
- Emotional highs and lows. Do they seem extremely excitable and positive some times but then very low, upset or even angry with others?
- A change in behavior over time. You may feel like your partner’s behavior has changed gradually — getting more and more difficult or secretive in increments. This is usually how addictions begin: with things starting off more subtly, before spinning further out of control.
How does gambling affect relationships?
On a number of levels:
- The emotional impact. Very often, the partner of someone with a gambling addiction will feel betrayed upon finding out. There can often be a sense of feeling like they ‘aren’t enough’ to keep their partner happy. They might feel ashamed or even just simply hurt.
- Trust. This is one of the biggest factors. Most addictions involve some form of lying or concealment at one point. Many partners struggle to understand how their partner could have kept this from them, especially if it’s been going on for a long time. Trust can take a long time to rebuild after the revelation of an addiction like this.
- Financial. On a practical level, gambling addiction can decimate joint or family finances. It’s not uncommon for a problem gambler to dive into savings or take out multiple credit cards. This can leave the family with no other money for their basic needs, including household bills or mortgage payments. It also often means that peripheral things, such as holidays or new clothes for children, become unaffordable.
- Time. Something often forgotten about addictions is just how much time they take up. Gambling addiction can mean a person is away from their partner or family for long stretches of it — weakening their connection and making it that much harder to recover from the damage done.
What can you do?
How Can You Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Addiction
The first thing to do if you think your partner is a problem gambler is to seek help.
GamCare has a helpline (0808 8020 133) that’s open seven days a week. They can provide you with advice on what your next steps could be. They can also help you think about whether your partner has a problem — you don’t need to be certain to give them a call. Their trained advisors can give both information and in the moment emotional support to help you feel calmer.
They’ve also got an equivalent online service called Netline, which allows you to exchange instant messages with an advisor, and online forums, where people who’ve been affected by problem gambling talk and support each other.
How we can help
If your relationship has been affected by your partner’s gambling, then we’d strongly recommend coming in for face-to-face counselling.
How Can You Tell If Someone Is Addicted To Gambling
There may be a fair amount to unpack following something like this. This is not only in terms of the damage it may have done to your relationship or family, but in understanding and coming to terms with the circumstances that lead to the addiction in the first place. Often it takes going back to before the addiction even started to begin to understand why it happened.
How To Know If Someone Is Gambling Addiction
Many partners blame themselves for the addiction – believing that if they’d been a better husband or wife, this never would have happened but things are rarely as simple as that. Sometimes figuring things out and getting them in perspective can be much easier if you’ve got a little help.